Caught in the middle

It's great when you can be friends with a married couple. Sadly, there are events in life that really test your friendship. Divorces are awful. Trying to remain friends with both is challenging but can be done if never the twain shall meet. But what do you do when one of the parties seriously wrongs the other?

I found myself offering conciliatory words on Facebook to one half of a couple over their mention of going through a very rough time and having gotten drunk and doing wrong by someone they cared about. Naively, I figured they had tied one on and told off mom or something. Never did I believe it was an incident of domestic violence, serious violence. The other party wasn't saying a word - rightly so. So I found myself being drawn into trying to offer support and encouragement to the party of the first part p1p with ignorance of what was done to the party of the second part p2p. A friend is hurting, is doing a public mea culpa and is talking of trying to fix their self, stop drinking and get their shit together. You bet, I will encourage you and offer you support in your quest to make things right and prevent it from ever happening again.

Then I spoke to the wronged party - well, texted. I felt it only right, when it came out that p2p was the victim of p1p's transgression, that I inform p2p of my contact with p1p. After all, I feel a stronger allegiance to p2p, p2p was my friend first. P2p displayed amazing strength and understanding of my situation. P2p is such an amazing person that this person expressed gratitude that p1p had someone to talk to in this difficult time. This is a truly wonderful and evolved person. 

I'm left feeling very conflicted. 

I hope that by offering support and encouragement to p1p this person will get the help they dearly need, will straighten their life out, will give up alcohol for good and will find peace as their remorse seems genuine and deep. I also hope that if this is achieved it will make p2p feel safer and more at ease. 

However, I feel rather uneasy and like I'm being disloyal to p2p despite making every effort to maintain transparency to all parties.

I'm looking at this as a growth experience. Helping someone who I'd really like to hate right now, seeing someone with all of their flaws and still being a friend to them, hoping I'm helping both parties with my actions.

If anyone is taking the time to read my ramblings I'd appreciate your thoughts/advice. This is a tough situation for everyone.

Thwarted productivity - again!

Took the kids out for dinner last night to celebrate boy-child's good report card and girl-child's not failing but could have been a lot better report card. We got our favorite waiter at our local, regularly patronized family restaurant - yay. Nice meal, children generally well-behaved...as we're leaving our waiter asks, discreetly, "you feeling ok?". Stock answer, "yeah, just very tired". I'm not going to burden this lovely man with the litany of medical woes I deal with every day and the solitary parent of 2 very challenging kids with their own heaping basket of issues problems that tire me out as well. However, nice to know even an acquaintance recognizes how worn out I am and sweetly suggested that I go home and try to get some rest. I must really look like shit!

Looking like death warmed over aside, I tried to get to sleep earlier last night. Failed. Really wanted to finish the Hiyao Miyazaki DVD I've been trying to watch (The Wind Rises - watch it! touching, beautiful, complex, mature concepts - not for the kiddies for once, stunning, gorgeous...) so of course mom calls and wants to chat for a while. Today is late start day at school, so the kids can sleep an hour later. Perfect opportunity to get up early and get something accomplished. I dream of getting anything finished. This is my life. Constant interruption, too much to do, endless viral/bacterial assault most of the year, doctor's appointments for all of us at regular intervals, taking in a foster dog for a month who needs MAJOR WORK because he has a bite history, a high prey drive and high energy level(but is, thankfully, civilized - knows that we go potty outside, doesn't trash the house, which is good because he wrecked the crate, escaped the x-pen and figured out how to open the pocket doors, he can't be contained). He's a sweetie, but a major drool factory and a typical young, male Neo - he's an asshole.

So, where are we?...sleep deprived, virally invaded so feeling crappy from that, house is largely a disaster, get up early to try to clean up a bit. Let foster boy (FB) out, my dog does not rise at this ungodly hour and reclines on the bed for now, and I begin picking up the bathroom a bit. For some reason, not sure what, my son left one shoe there last night after his shower. FB has been licking the tub so it's all hairy and filthy, my son left the water dripping - thanks son, time for you to pay the water bill - but now FB is barking so, not wanting the neighbors to hate me, I run to let him in. In he trots and I return to the bathroom where he joins me. Then it hits my olfactory system! He has Poofoot! Dual Poofoot! Arghhhh!

For the unaware:
Poofoot: an affliction of Canis Domesticus in which the canid voids their bowels in an outdoor location then promptly trods through it causing clumps of feces to adhere to the foot, including between the toes (top and bottom surfaces),  void spaces of the nails and adjacent regions of the foot. Can present bilaterally and afflicts one to all feet. Usually seen in canids who are dim-witted, having GI disturbances and those who are just assholes. Also known as Pedal-Fecal Syndrome, Ugh,You'reSuchAnAsshole Syndrome and when the entire event occurs indoors is known as Whydoyouhateme-WhatdidIeverdotoyou.

Oh joy! I'm working with FB on his "if you touch my feet I will bite you issues" and now I have to deep clean 2 of them. The ruckus of cleaning up his very disgusting feet and the globs of poo he deposited all over the bathroom, of course, wakes the kids and arouses my formerly sleeping dog. So now I have the joyous task of trying to steam mop (note to Shark, you wanna sell the hell out of these things, market them directly to owners of Poofoot-prone dogs and well, all dog owners, this thing have saved my sanity soooooo many times) the entire width and most of the depth of this wretched little shack with one kid and 2 dogs in the way (other child isn't getting up, just bitching about being awakened). And I haven't had my coffee yet!! This may be a 3 cup day.

So, why do I share this festival of fun that is my life here? Well, I think if I don't vent and rant and get this stuff out of my system I will end up having a stroke or something. My kids alone may still give me a stroke or drive me over the edge or somehow completely void my warranty. So as an act of self-preservation I'm going to try writing a blog again. Maybe NO ONE will read it, that's fine. If there is someone out there reading this I hope it helps you feel less alone as a stressed-out parent or dog rescuer or you get a good laugh and just feel grateful that my life isn't yours. If you're so inclined, leave a comment. Welcome to the madness.

The Joys of Insomnia

So, several people have told me I should write a book with all of the crazy crap that goes on in my life. Like I have time for that!! A blog, maybe I can handle that. It's a way to be productive with my insomnia time - if I'm not going to sleep maybe I can write.

The next issue - blog about what? I loaded and ran the dishwasher today - hardly blog-worthy stuff. Not that lesser things aren't blogged about daily (oi, is 'blog' a verb as well as a noun?).

Well, as the title implies, motherhood is a big part of my life. I'm a single, older mom of twins. Babyroo and Buckaroo are 3yo b/g twins who pretty much run me ragged, challenge my sanity and give me a reason to get up every morning. We have a Neopolitan Mastiff who is the successor to my first two 'kids' - 2 english Mastiffs, who passed away between the kids being born (2 months early) and their departure from the NICU. Talk about a sucky chunk of my life! We got our Big Boy 2 months after the kids came home from the hospital. He was a year old and came from Neo Rescue. Love him dearly.

As for hobbies, if you buy it at JoAnn Fabrics or the SHOTshow it's probably something I like. I'm an NRA certified handgun instructor, though my shotguns are my favorites - if I must choose a fave in the arsenal.

I also knit, sew, machine embroider, rubber stamp, basket weave, ribbon craft, make jewelry and am learning to smock. I like to cook and garden. I'm also learning belly dance and trying to get the guts up to do it publicly. Of course, I write this as if I have time for any of it. Most days are purely survival.

Right now I'd be happy to get the kids potty trained, keep Buckeroo from taking his clothes off all of the time and get rid of the preschool plague that has infested my upper respiratory system.

I'm not exactly June Cleaver. If you're more Calamity Jane than June drop me a comment and join the wild ride that is my life. It may not be exotic but it's never dull.